I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
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bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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