it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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