Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
