Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
