This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize