Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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