I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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