so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
