At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
