TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
last night I used snow as a chaser
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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