Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
