found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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