he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Sober January is a disaster.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
You are a genius and a whore.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
