Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
