Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
