Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
