you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
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