P.S. I can't hear my feet
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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