just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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