I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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