I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
