That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
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How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
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don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
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