you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
