How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Randomize
