I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
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Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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