so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
