been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
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i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
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WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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