i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
