How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
