You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
