He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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