dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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