so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
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