I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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