yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
