it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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