So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
It was a blind-side dick pic.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
