please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
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