She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
