if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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