sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
My liver is preforming stress tests.
and you fell through a lawn chair
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