i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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