i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
please don't ironically join a cult
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