Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
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