I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
