She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
