So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
