Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
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Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
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You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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