the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Randomize
