i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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