Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
