Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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