been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Panties = found
Randomize
