90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
