Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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