yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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