im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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