she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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