I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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