god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
