You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize
