Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
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