doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
