remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
