The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
