Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
