don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Well I just put wine in my tea
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
