I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
